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Graduation DayGraduation Day:

They told us we would be alright...

We had fought with honour and won our titles.

We had overcome trials together -

Watching dozens of our siblings fall in the line of duty.

For this they had promised us, a wondrous welcome;

A bountiful world of adventure, with a myriad of paths.

All this, they said, awaited us in the stone cities.

Large metropolises, where the working folk resided...

There were hundreds of us, who made that journey.

Walking miles across the scorching desert,

Clinging to a hope of the fortunes beyond.

Yet what awaited us was not a promised land -

Nor was it a life based on the merit we had earned.
You don't just die.Do you understand?
The blade against your wrist
Doesn't just slice your skin.
It cuts through others
Hearts
Souls
And sanity.

Do you understand?
You don't just kill yourself.
You kill everyone.
Everyone dies
Everyone cries
Everyone suffers
From YOUR goodbyes.

Do you understand?
You don't just die.
You take everyone down
With you.
They Called Her UglyThey called her ugly
and she screamed that she was beautiful
because that is what she believed
and They screamed twice as loud
and They left a small scar on her arm that was
big and red and bright
for all to see.

They called her ugly
and she yelled that she was beautiful
because that is what she thought she was
and They yelled three times as loud
and They left a bigger scar on her other arm that was
big and red and bright
for all to see.

They called her ugly
and she said that she was beautiful
because that is what she hoped
and They just said it louder
and They left a scar on face that was
big and red and bright
for all to see.

They call
I wish...I wish I was a monster
So I could be kind
And break the stereotypes.

I wish I was colored
So I could respect people
And break the stereotypes.

I wish I was a man
So I could be kind to women
And break the stereotypes.

I wish I had male friends
So we could all be..
Just friends
And break the stereotypes.

I wish I had autism
So I could prove that autism,
Does NOT mean "dumb".
And I could break the stereotypes.

I wish I could change the world.
But sometimes, you can't break a stereotype.

Only stereotypes, can break you.
Lingerhow can i move forward,
when the fingerprints of my insecurities
are still lingering within my chest,
pressing against my ribs like piano keys?
i am just waiting, for the day,
when the saddest parts of me
are overcome with songs of serenity.
Pretty Blue PillsPretty blue pills,
shiny in my palm,
the ticket to my peace,
to my eternal calm.

They're so perfectly round,
and soon they'll be in me.
The closest to perfect
that I'll ever be.

They go down so smooth.
Five, ten, fifteen and twenty.
Soon I'll be gone.
Twenty-five and Thirty.

That should be enough,
but I'll play it safe.
Thirty-five and forty.
Now I have no more to take.

The bottle is empty,
as empty as I feel.
None of this is happening,
too good to be real.

But soon I start to drift
into a dark unknown fog.
Somewhere quite distantly.
I hear a muffled sob.

But I blow it off as fake.
Nobody could possibly care.
I doubt anyone's noticed
th
PhantomWhen life
or fate
or whatever it is
that puts things together
and takes them apart...
when It
amputated you,
it left me
with a phantom
limb
and you are still attached
to my body
when I dance
and make love
alone
ten ways this breakup isn't meant for the movies1.
you go out for twelve eggs and come back
with half a dozen and a new girlfriend.
you hold the eggs out to me like
six dead birds is enough of a peace offering.

2.
i push the eggs out of your hand and stay
with my hand over your heart as i watch them
fall. if they do not hit the ground, this is all a dream.

3.
the eggs smash on the tile and splatter
on the cherry wood cabinets, newly installed
that cost me two paychecks.

3.
the egg whites hit your leather shoes that
you’ve worn for two months straight
because you think they make you look more sophisticated.

3.
the egg whites hit the fridge halfway up, barely touching
the moose mag
Dear friend,You have to understand, dear
The reason to why I run.
I run away from reality
From the lungs that cannot
Take anymore smoke
From the heart that threatens to
Stop...
I run away because 
I'm a coward
Because I'm afraid of life
Afraid to care or love.
I'm afraid that every time
I'm glad it blows up in my face
And that every time I smile
I shed a million more tears.
That's why I run, dear 
You have to understand.
I was destined to be a fighter but
I don't want to fight anymore.
I was destined to be a warrior
But how am I supposed to win when
The war I fight is against life itself?
I know that I  always blow everything up but-
I keep stepping on mines, dear...
                          ...I keep stepping on mines...
ellipsisshe goes to sleep
clawing at her chest with pinpoint accuracy
for an emptiness she can’t describe,
but hates all the same. tomorrow

she will write a letter: “dear boy,
i always wanted to be somebody’s
flowery poem, but the verses carved in my arms
are riddled with ugly clichés. & you are why

i don’t sleep through the night. if
we were a language, i was the
subordinating conjunction, you were

the punctuation.

i remember you in staccato
conclusions, solemn absences
of goodbye”
TearsI am not afraid to cry.

I am not afraid for you to see the tears

My tears.

Don’t tell me I have no heart.

Don’t tell me I have no soul.

For without them I could not cry.

You may not see my tears but they are there.

I have learned to let myself cry for the things I’ve loved,

For the things I’ve lost.

They are silent tears, but they are mine.

So let me cry.

Let me show you I have a heart.

Let the things that touch my heart be shown through my tears.

I am not afraid to cry.
Second ShadowThe hand on your shoulder
The whispers in your mind
The words on your tongue
The voice in your throat
And the feelings in your soul

To drive to madness
To seduce the insane
To draw the blood
And dull the senses
To plague the memories
Of damage done
To fake safe haven
As the character changes

Light the anger and fuel the rage
Another mind to feed
A second shadow
To take you into eternity
Remnants
Hold on to my sanity every single day
I’m not gonna fall.
Those hungry, greedy holes you left
They start calling.

Just like a cold-blooded murderer
You use every heart you can find
When will you ever be satisfied?

You destroy everything you build
and tear everyone you love
Just to die and start over again.
Replay, replay, replay...
Until you grow weaker, and weaker.

You never destroyed me.
I destroyed myself to forget you.
I die every day in an endless cycle,
The rotating remnants of revolting hearts.

Just like water, I choke and swallow.
I mirror your mind, your thoughts, and your desire
And just like Narcissus, you fall deeper and
I'm a monsterWe all have little monsters in us
that whisper ugly words into our ears.
My soul is at war, it is a fight
between the human and the monster in me,
and I fear... that the monster will win.

The monster controls me...
it forces me to think the worst of others
and it tells me to isolate myself,
to protect myself from those evil humans.
The monster dictates my every move,
I must pretend that I am a human...
lest anyone think of me as a monster.

The human inside of me has long died
and the seemingly innocent person you see  
is nothing but a disgusting monster
hiding in the body of another,
preying on the weaknesses -
the weaknesses of those fra
EternityThe altar is bloodied
A drama just happened
She cut  her veins
He sliced his throat

Their love was toxic
Death was the only antidote for to be unites eternity
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More from *ticktickboom24

he's holy, and not in the biblical sensethere's a hole in my chest
where you are

there's a hole in my chest
where you were

there's a hole in my chest
the size of a fist

there's a hole in my chest
i'm trying to ignore it

there's a hole in my chest
but it's not there, not really,
not if i wish hard enough

there's a hole in my chest
where you should be

there's a hole in my chest
where i'm missing you from

there's a hole in my chest
similar to the one in yours
leaking blood
all over the floor

there's a hole in my chest
there's a hole in my chest
alive
the reason i'm alive
is you

the reason i'm alive
is you

the reason i'm alive
is you

the reason i'm alive
is you

the reason i'll travel 10,000 miles
when i have a fear of flying
is you

the reason i'll ignore the world
and fervently check facebook
is you

the reason i'd follow you anywhere
is the hold you have
on my heart

the reason i'm alive
is you
so perfect, so happydo you remember
smiling into the camera
all toothy grins
and arms-around-each-other

do you remember
beating me senseless
because the photo came out in black-and-white
when you wanted colour

do you remember
picnics on the grassy knoll
across from the house
tea-parties with toddlers
instead of teddies

do you remember
whispered threats as
you sat on me, crushing me
scissors digging into my leg
as a taste of what was yet to come

do you remember
skipping along the road
hand-in-hand
singing mamma's song for tom

do you remember
breaking my bed
because you hit me so hard
i went through it

do you remember
telling me you love
disjunctureyou look at me
but you don't see me

you listen to me
but you don't hear me

you go through the motions
but you don't notice the girl in front of you

you don't see the pain
you don't notice the scars
you don't hear the breaking

i've been screaming
for help
for 17 years

and you're still
blind, deaf, uncaring

i refuse to die
for you to
see, hear, care

in a world
riddled with 'behind closed doors'
and 'that doesn't happen,
she doesn't know what she's saying
she's only a child'

i'm opening the doors
letting the demons loose
i'm screaming, shouting, pleading

all i want
is to matter
burning
if i were to go up in flames
would you stand a 'safe' distance
away from me
from the spectacle i'm making
and simply watch
me

or would you
grab ahold and
[try to] stop me?

or would you
come close
hold me

stay
and smile as we burned
bright, brighter

like the tyger
like the girl on fire

like we were always meant to
like we meant to
~
ticking time bombmy heart is a bomb
it's ticking away

my heart is a bomb
don't come any closer

my heart is a bomb
i don't know love
what is that?

my heart is a bomb
please stay away
you deserve more, better,
than this

my heart is a bomb
no, don't love me,
you can't, you don't understand-
i don't kno-

BOOM.
i love you, too

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December 25, 2012
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[x]

signal fires

:iconticktickboom24:

we're building ourselves a home
so that we can escape one day

we're building ourselves a life
so that we can have a goal

we're building ourselves a future
so that we can look forward

we're building ourselves
out of ash and nothing and fire and coal

we're building ourselves
out of stolen kisses and melted smiles and broken bones

we're building
so we can burn

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