history in the making

"raise your glass, if you are wrong, in all the right ways"

oh yeah. i'm a mixture of words emotions objects.
i'm a cement mixture of a dictionary a squirrel - yes a squirrel - a kitten a water bottle an orange and a chair.

and you know what? i like it.

you know what word makes me smile? when he says "heya"
when you smile that secret smile, the one where nothings right but it doesnt matter because someone else is being more stupid than you?
yeah, i know that smile.

i know those words; 'always' 'forever' 'love'
they may mean nothing now, but who knows what they'll mean in, 2 years, 5 years, 10 years time?

i don't. i didn't know the names Rach and Sarah would mean so much to me three years ago; both of those girls are two of my best friends now.

i'm a mixture of hyper and twisted and pain and laughter; wonder what that word will make?

i know it's hard right now
but the point of it all is to remember; not just the bad times that may be happening now, but the good times too

like when i fell off a roundabout that was going too fast, because i'd tried to get my water out of my bag.. yeah that was kinda a bad thing, but it resulted in my friend slowing down the roundabout and laughing with me. with me - not at me, with.

its one of my favourite memories from year 11.

yeah i miss my mates - who doesnt?
but i don't know what the future holds

more words, more fights, more arguments, more friends, more heartache, more love.

whatever it holds, i'm ready for it

got my heart full of words, my head full of songs, and my life full of friends.

and while i might not be happy; i sure as hell aint giving up.

you have to understand me here:

i'm
not
giving
up.

not on myself, not on you.

I'm here to stay
and you'd better get used to that.

you know what phrase is my friend? "i'd like that"
"i'm twisted, how are you?"

you know whats so good about being a teen?
the fact that you can change who you are if you dont like it!

yes i sleep with a teddy bear that i've had since i was 4.
he's my new beginning; names Twinken.
love him to bits, nearly lost him on oooh several occasions.

i have a koala, two koalas in fact; one from Australia, one from england
i have three cats and a monkey
plus a sheep, named Eldon [god what a newcastle trip that was!]

my point is
our generation
might the ones that are the most glued to facebook and the like

we might be the fuckups that our grandparents say "well back in my day that would never have done" to

but guess what?

we're history in the making, guys and girls!

we're the ones that are gunna run this country in ten, twenty years' time

we get to have the chance now to make the most of who we are, and what we are

you gunna let that chance fly you by?

i'm not. I'm here, I'm standing up, and I'm saying - nay SHOUTING-


I'M KERRIE, RUTH, RUBY BENHAM AND I AM BLOODY PROUD OF ME!

i'm me. that may change, but so what?!

i'm me, and i'm proud.
yes i have a mental disorder - that just means that i have even more people to argue with and be friends with in my head, people that you lot can't taint with your evil words and harsh deeds.

The songs I love right now: Pink, Fucking Perfect and Pink, Raise Your Glass

i'm imperfect

i'm so imperfect, i'm a jigsaw puzzle

and everyone loves a jigsaw puzzle, right?