*takes deep breath* HI EVERYONEEEEEE! so, we finally got wifi at home! which means we'll be able to get through the *squints at screen* 11k messages we have.... so. cant even remember when we last updated this page, it was so long ago! probably about two years ago, if not longer.
a lot has happened in the past few years. as you can imagine, i've changed quite a lot.
updates! things that have happened in the past two years that are fancy:
my sister got married in august 2014, which was awesome. in november 2014, she gave birth to an adorable little girl, who lights up any room she's in with her radiant little smile and overall happy demeanour she's amazing and adorable and i love that kid so much it hurts. crazy to think she's now 17 months old! moved into my own flat in august 2014, had a lot of help to set the place up. after nearly two years, its finally getting to the place where i want it to be last august, to celebrate being in my flat for a year, i adopted a beautiful calico cat, who i named Sakura. her name means beautiful or cherry blossom in Japanese, which suits her perfectly! i'll post a couple pics of her in a bit its also crazy to think that she's now 10 months old, because who said time could sneak up on me like that?! i was in a relationship with one of my best friend's brothers' for a few months, which was awesome, because i've known him for going on 5 years. he pretty much knows everything and accepts everything. unfortunately, because i wouldn't have sex with him, we ended up breaking up a week ago. still good friends though. i think. i haven't actually seen him since we broke up i've now got a collection of about 10 dresses, as my best friends encouraged me to be more confident and helped me a lot with my struggles so that i felt like i could. turns out, i really enjoy wearing pretty dresses i've now got a better relationship with my brother, as i've done a lot of work on my issues and he's become more understanding due to going to uni and seeing that i have a lot of very good reasons to be the way that i am. we're at the point now where we can actually talk about our feelings with each other, which we've never been able to do before, so that's pretty cool. i've been working a lot of my art, and my drawing skills have significantly improved i can now draw people that actually look like people now, its awesome! currently working on a picture of Sakura, which is proving to be more difficult that i thought it would be! i got my first tattoo in february this year, to mark 18 months of not self harming i'll post a picture of it in a bit. got designs for a second tattoo, hoping to be able to get it for the 2 year mark in July. i'm now on 20mg citalopram daily, which makes such a huge difference. like, i'm actually getting up and doing things on a morning now, instead of lying in bed all day. mind you, i've been in bed most of today, but that's because i've been super busy with family and friends for the past two weeks, and i've got a busy weekend ahead of me, so i'm allowed. rejuvenating my spoons and all that. i never knew that being on meds could make such a difference, but it really has. at least, for me. i know they don't work for everyone, which was why i was reluctant to try them at first. i've also created an etsy account, and bought a load of beads and thread. my plan is to get back into making bracelets and necklaces, and hopefully selling them on my etsy account, this summer. i'm going back to college in september, to do childcare. which is what i've wanted to do since i was, like, 3 years old - it's only taken me 20 years to actually do it xD i'm actually happier in myself, and a lot more confident and less anxious now. i haven't had a panic attack in 2 months. i'm so proud of myself for that. i went through a patch of having them at least twice a week, so to have not had one for two months is a mega achievement. i'm much better with eating and going out now too. i leave the flat at least once a day for twenty minutes. even if i don't feel like it, i make myself do it, and usually end up feeling better afterwards.
essentially, i'm a nicer person because i'm happier and i have an amazing support system now.
i've still been writing, but not much in actual poem form. mainly just scribblings that don't make much sense. imma have to revisit them and see if i can make a few new poems for y'all to read
so yeah. that's all from me, for now.
love and hugs to all! ta-ta for now, to quote tigger!